


hand in unlovable hand

by waspfactor



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28227120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waspfactor/pseuds/waspfactor
Summary: he has passed the point of return. this a fact he knows.
Relationships: Asano Gakuhou & Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88





	hand in unlovable hand

**Author's Note:**

> three wasp fics in one day? u lucky sons of guns. too bad theyre all angsty!!!!!
> 
> two steps forward, one step back. every time i write gakushuu getting therapy, i immediately resort back to canonical angst. ahhhhhhhhhh
> 
> this is inspired by [no children](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm-NW1RwPY8) by the mountain goats. its the perfect asano angst song and is also where the title is from!!!

Gakushuu’s not an idiot. He knows a lost cause when he sees one. He sees one as he gets ready for school, combing his thinning hair with a dead look in his eyes, the kind that arises from a lack of sleep. His body aches with the pain of a pensioner and he carries trauma that will scar him for years to come.

He has passed the point of no return. This is a fact he knows.

Another fact since we’re on the topic: it’s an inherited form of helplessness. His father, the monster that parents tell their children about at night, the king of the castle, is unsavable, unredeemable. He shed his human shell long ago, at a child’s funeral. The man who he once (educator, role model, father) was is now a swirling sea of anger, bitterness, and _pain._ He has committed atrocities that would make grown men weep and young children run away in fear.

Gakushuu knows that neither can be saved. No Kobe steak will heal his bruised cheek, no amount of therapy will repair the rift between them, nothing will bring Ikeda back to life and thus, nothing matters. They are waiting for their demise. His father’s will come quicker, due to age but Gakushuu can’t wait. He is impatient. He will not let this generational trauma continue; the cycle ends with him.

He flicks a match and fire roars to life, casting an orange glow onto his surroundings. The smoke detectors are gone, no Amercium-241 can save them now. The alarm system disabled, and phone line cut; they are isolated. No need to bring anyone else in this mess. They will burn, incinerate together and hopefully, if everything goes to plan, the world will forget about the Asano’s, forget about the pain they inflicted.

From across the other end of the hall, his father stands, firmly rooted in place. There is no panic in his eyes, no fear. He knows this has been a long time coming and perhaps he wanted to do something similar but was too scared too. That where Gakushuu comes in, no longer burdened by mortal whims such as _fear._

Gakushuu splashes kerosene in his father’s direction, the flames growing taller and taller. They scale the walls, hang from the ceilings, creep downstairs. It’s all an act- they both know that smoke inhalation will be the final blow.

His father tries to speak over the flames but it’s indiscernible. Good. Gakushuu doesn’t want this moment to be ruined by his father’s predisposed sentiments. This is _his_ moment, his last fuck you to his father and the society that could not save him, to the person he wishes he could be. Strong and weak, smart and stupid, rich and poor- fire burns all the same.

He slides down the wall and manages to sit on the floor, which is lovely and toasty. He lets his eyes flutter shut and allows himself to indulge in the warmth.  
  


He can’t remember the last time he’s felt so happy.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://wasp-factor.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/waspfactor) :((
> 
> gakushuu im so sorry pls forgive me
> 
> feel free to spin my jaw this was sad


End file.
